Archives for October 2015

Just imagine a week with no cell phone, no internet, no work demands. A week totally dedicated to you and you alone.

That’s what a meditation retreat is like, and I’m here to advocate for you (yes you, the person reading this) – for YOU – to find a way to make something like that happen in your life.

It doesn’t have to be a full week, and it doesn’t have to be a formal practice. A weekend at a cottage by a lake would be perfect. Or a couple days at a fancy-schmancy retreat center. Or heck, even a weekend at home where you plan to do nothing.

Whatever you can do, plan to make it happen. And be sure to work in time for some of the meditation things you’ve learned throughout the month.

• Do a guided meditation.
• After the dishes are cleaned up from dinner, sit quietly staring at a candle for 10 minutes and see what arises.
• Take a long, solitary walk through a local park – hug a tree or two while you’re there.
• Prepare and eat a meal mindfully.

Most importantly, find time to do nothing. Our lives are so packed with activity that it takes at least a day or more to truly unpack ourselves – to let go of everything that must be done now, and just be. Try to just “be” a little tonight:

• When you do the dishes, just do the dishes.
• When you brush your teeth, just brush your teeth.
• When you rake the leaves, just rake the leaves.

So much of our mindspace while performing these simple tasks gets filled with monkeymind, that we are bouncing from past to future and back. While brushing our teeth at the end of a long day, we’re reviewing the long day (the past) and thinking about tomorrow’s long day (the future.) Life, however, is about now. And now you’re brushing your teeth, not having that conversation you had six hours ago with a co-worker.

So just brushing your teeth means that: brush your teeth. Keep your mind quiet.

Before you brush your teeth, take a deep breathe in and find your quiet space. That space where the mind IS calm (or calmer.) Then go through your nightly ritual of brushing your teeth. When you start thinking about the past or future, stop. And then continue.

After all, meditation and mindfulness are considered “practice.” You will always be practicing, and someday, you will have now.

But for now, brush your teeth. Breathe. And get on with the little things.

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Today is about Zen.

You probably already have an idea what Zen is all about. After all, Googling Zen brings up 260,000,000 potential results. That same search on Pinterest returns many different categories: Zen bathrooms, Zen quotes, Zen garden, Zen Lifestyle, Zentangle, Zen Tattoo, Zen Office…the list goes on and on.

So what is Zen?

To some, Zen is way of decorating the home that is simple and minimal. To others, Zen is one of those “gardens” where monks rake stones in pretty patterns.  Zen is as much a state of mind as it is a way of living.

For us, it’s a style of meditation to try. We’ve kind of already done this…remember learning how to breathe on Day 1? True Zen meditation (aka Zazen) is formless, there is nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing you have to do. You don’t even have to watch your breathe, but you do have to pay attention the whole time.

Just how long can you make it without getting lost in thoughts? Has this length improved over the month? Why or why not?

Sit quietly for five minutes, ten minutes. Do nothing, absolutely nothing.

Just breathe.

And, if you want to learn more about Zen, this movie trailer is a brief introduction to life in a Japanese monastery. This one, too (and it’s both longer and older.)

We’ve made it through four weeks of meditation and mindfulness – only three more days to go!

What do you pay attention to?

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Here’s another meditation and mindfulness technique that’s a little weird: shaking.

Uh, what?

You know, shaking. Like the Quaker Shakers, like a simplified Sufi dance, like syncopated movements on the dance floor, only not quite.

My friend Amber Polo wrote a good introduction to how to shake here. Her article led me to author Larraine Herring‘s two part introduction to and demonstration of shaking; Larraine teaches this technique in her writing workshops as a way to help writers prepare to write.

Yes, it looks weird.

That’s why you get to do this in private where no one can see you. And no, you don’t have to do that jump thing to get started (watch the demonstration video!)

As Amber wrote, “Move and wiggle all your parts as if you had no bones. Shake for at least 5 minutes daily for a few days to see if it works for you.”

Once you get over the initial embarrassment, shaking feels fantastic and does help you let go of monkey mind.

So go on, shake it off like Taylor Swift, or for you old timers like me, shake it all over with the Guess Who.

*For a full list of associated meditation and mindfulness posts, click here.

Heavens knows establishing and keeping a meditation practice going isn’t easy-peasy. I mean, who the heck has 10 minutes a day to sit and essentially do nothing?

Plus, when you do sit down, all sorts of things happen. In this excerpt from Relaxing The Writer: Guidebook To A Writer’s High author Amber Polo discusses common difficulties when meditating and offers solutions.

Discomfort: Experiment until you find a comfortable position. Use pillows or blankets or sit in a chair.

Sleepiness: Begin with a shorter meditation time. Look up, even though your eyes are closed. Or try another type of meditation offering more to focus on.

Impatience: Begin your meditation practice with no expectations, other than relaxation.

More Discomfort:  If you spend a lot of time sitting, more sitting may be uncomfortable. Moving and  stretching before sitting to meditate is important, as is adding an active activity to your day. Especially if you choose to sit on the floor, practicing gentle hip stretches as a warm-up will help make sitting more comfortable. Many consider one of the primary purposes of yoga to make sitting in meditation easier.

Distractions and unwanted thoughts: When you’re lost in a good book, you aren’t bothered by outside distractions. Meditation is like that. Observe  your thoughts as if they belonged to someone else. Acknowledge them and let them go. If the thoughts are disturbing, sad, or make you angry, imagine they come from a story in a book you’ve once read. Don’t worry about falling asleep. And don’t be so competitive you give each meditation session a score.

Try music or incense, if they do not distract you. There is no right way. Meditation can be an informal 10 minutes of quiet, listening to music, or looking out the window. Experiment with high tech versions like meditation goggles if that appeals. Insight Timer, an iPhone app, serves as a pleasant timer for meditation.

Amber Polo is the author of Relaxing The Writer: Guidebook To A Writer’s High, a couple mystical romance novels, and a delightful series about dogs and libraries.

Find Amber Polo online:

• Website
• Twitter
• Twitter (Relaxing Writer)
• Author Page at Amazon

For a full list of associated meditation and mindfulness posts, click here.

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Practicing meditation and mindfulness leads you to be more aware of everything. As the years roll by I think I’ve become more sensitive, and (at the same time) more able to roll with the changes and waves of life. But you have to pay attention.

That “signal” is intuition. It’s a hunch. It’s that funny feeling you get when you know something’s not right.

Today, check in with yourself. Find ten minutes to sit quietly. Close your eyes and pay attention to your breathing. When you’re ready, pay attention to your body. Is it healthy? Happy? Does it ask you to move more, or to sit still more? What does your body want?

Mine usually wants more Earl Grey tea, chocolate, cookies, and work outdoors. It wants a massage. It wants to rest or to be more active. It wants a good salad for dinner instead of a hamburger. Your body will have specific needs, wants, and desires.

So listen. By being mindful of the body, you learn to work with the body.

Note I say “the body” not “my body.” This is an important distinction.  Yep, it’s definitely the body that is housing my soul at this time, but is it “mine?” Do I own the body? Am I ruled by the body’s desires? Can I separate my thoughts from the body, or are they so intimately intertwined that there is no separation?

Regardless of your answers, the body is an amazing tool that you have been given to work with during this lifetime. What’s it wanna do? Take a deep breathe – then make it happen!

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The last few days have been more about becoming mindful of the things and people around an in our lives.

Meditation can help you become more mindful, yet I’m sure you have plenty of excuses as to why you don’t meditate. I sure do.

Here’s a Ted Talk that may help you make some simple changes in your life.

Andy Puddicombe is also the founder of Headspace, which helps people learn how to meditate in just ten minutes a day.

For a full list of associated posts, click here.

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How do you move on with your life after letting go? The answer is different for everyone, yet here are some simple suggestions to help ease the way.

Be gentle with yourself. Yes, yes, you want to get to the top of whatever mountain you’re climbing: corporate, entrepreneurial, athletic – whatever. They’re all mountains, they’re just called different names. Regardless of the mountain you’re climbing, and the thing you’ve just accomplished or let go of, stop what you’re doing and look around. Take time to notice where you’re at in this process. Breathe. Forgive yourself for taking so darned long to get to this point, or for feeling like you’ve trampled on others to achieve these things, or for whatever it is. It’s OK. You’re human, and it ain’t easy to be you or me or anyone else.

Pamper yourself. This is not the same as being gentle. Pampering in this case refers to taking care of yourself. Have the bubble bath or the extra slice of pie. Do nice things for yourself. Make those nice things rewards, or just because you can. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you. I got a two-year-old yet new-to-me car in August and, after 13 years of a basic entry-level car, I moved up to a new level of comfort. I have heated seats. Power windows. Heck, power everything: the car knows when it’s raining and turns on both the lights and the window wipers! And I feel totally pampered while driving.

Take a baby step. If you’re not sure which direction you’re going to head, take one tiny step. Fumbling around a bit is to be expected when starting a new chapter of life; heck I fumble around a bit every Monday as I get used to being at work again. Regardless, take the one step and see where it leads. And always stop along the way to check your progress.

Poet Robert Frost said, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” Take that step, life will go on, it always does.

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